$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
