no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
