i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
