I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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