Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
