Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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