No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
