Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
