sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
