So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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