your thong is hanging out like whoa
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
