i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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