I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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