Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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