I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
