I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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