they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
