you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
