Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
