maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
