I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
