I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
