did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
