wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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