FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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