By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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