If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
