She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
should my penis look like a turkey
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
