that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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