omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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