He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Boobs speak an international language.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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