I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
