Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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