I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
