I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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