Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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