I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
