You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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