Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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