i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sext me about skeletons
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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