I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
