I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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