i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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