i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
