Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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