really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
