I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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