Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize