I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
