this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
