Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize