woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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