Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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