CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
