Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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