I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
