I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
