do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
50% drunk capacity currently
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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