I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
