Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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