I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you didnt know i had herpes?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize