you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
